Archive for March, 2011

In sickness and in health

I must admit I am not much of a religious person in the belief that the world will come to an end soon at the hands of some worldwide plague.

I do however know one thing. If the world were to come to an end from an apocalyptic plague, it won’t be in the form of some religious aftermath.

It will be from the millions of children who come to school, sent by their parents, carrying the plague themselves.

For the last 8 days I have been extremely sick. I still went to work and tried to make it through each day but I felt like I was going to pass out at any given moment. Somehow the combination cocktail of the Ebola virus and the plague the students brought to the school beat me down.

Do you know what happens in a school when an administrator or teacher is sick?

All fighting among students stops.

The students become loving and caring individuals toward each other.

Disciplinary referrals suddenly go to zero.

They sing in harmonious unison.

And the students turn their attention and torment toward the poor sick educator.

Do you know what it’s like getting ten million questions fired at you from multiple sources, at once while you are sick? They demand that you calculate Pi (to the last digit without a calculator) and prepare them for a debate with Mensa International all while demanding the answers for the meaning of life.

Torture.

And they love it.

I just hope I get better soon because experiencing that ring of torture (where happy children are dancing and singing in unison over my grave) would be the absolute worst way to die.

Catch me if you can

I will be turning 43 years old this year.

One more year gone and another year wiser.

Of the many duties we administrators are charged with, the one that probably takes up the majority of our time and energy is to maintain discipline among the student body and keep the climate of the school pleasant, inviting, and nurturing.

In all my years in education and on this earth, what never ceases to amaze me is how kids assume that adults never had a childhood and a wealth of experiences to draw upon.

They really do believe that every little prank or infraction they can muster is something they just invented at that moment or dreamed up the night before. They just refuse to believe that these same things that get them in trouble are things we did over 30 years ago, and sometimes did them better.

They also wonder why we catch them so quickly.

Take for example the elementary school student who cuts class. Now unlike high school, elementary school students tend to remain in one of three locations throughout the day: Class, lunch, and P.E. Any other times, before and after school on the playground, they are being watched and supervised by many eyes that catch the precise moment when they are about to spring their act on an unsuspecting victim.

When an elementary student is missing, they are usually found within minutes and when that happens, they look at the administrator as if to say “How did you know I was here?”

Sometimes I think they believe they are invisible.

These same students are the ones who run away when they get caught.

Where do they think they are going to go? Do they really believe we will never see them again?

I don’t even chase them anymore. I just show up at their “hiding spot” and watch them look perplexed from wondering how they were found so quickly.

Reminds me of the time I got caught cutting class…once. I really thought I was never going to get caught.

Which is why I was hiding in the bathroom across the hall from my class.

I also chose the perfect day to cut class.

The day I was caught, was the very day my dad was to be a guest speaker for the very same class I was cutting.

That was back in 1984.

Even though the kids don’t know it now, as the saying goes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I don’t think the kids can come up with something I haven’t seen (or done) before years ago.

Like I said, we were doing this same stuff over 30 years ago.

Say What?

 

If you know what’s wrong with this picture…

thank a TEACHER!